On Love... Falling In and Out

Before you start to worry that I will be sharing my personal triumphs and trials in the universal quest to find someone that makes us feel like they care, you should know I'm not referring to that kind of love. (However if that's something you would be interested in, I have a few anecdotes up my sleeve) Yet, this is a love letter, one to the eager book blogger I was two and a half years ago.

I'm still a reader... obviously *flips hair* but I think my actions have made it clear enough that book blogging and making BookTube videos have most definitely not been a priority. If there's one thing I've been preaching since the start, it's been that whatever you feel as if you need in your life, you make the time for. Yes, that might be a Peeta-Katniss-Gale reference.

I remember back in the early days, whenever I temporarily fell off the blogging wagon, I would write long, apologetic posts to my readers about why I was gone, what I was doing that could have possibly been more important, and ninety percent of the time the reasons I stayed away weren't in my control. This is also known as being a student and having obligations like homework and studying.

Upon leaving for Oxford and more importantly, since coming back, I've realized it isn't that simple. There's been a lot of discussion about autopilot, whether it's been explicitly labeled or not. I personally don't have any issues with those who choose to produce book hauls, TBRs, wrap-ups, and the content we have come to consider "staple" in this amazing community. I remember making the decision after more than a year of constant uploads to cease doing monthly wrap-ups. They were one of my favorite types of videos to make, one of the most time consuming, and one of the most rewarding. I know now it wasn't for the reasons I stated in the video I dramatically titled, "My Last Wrap-Up Ever?!?"

In truth, if you look at the content I produced whilst in England, it's completely writing oriented, and that's what I want to talk about today. When I started off blogging, Ashley from Nose Graze explained something priceless about this community. When first creating a brand name which encompasses both the URL and usernames you use consistently on social media (if I had known anything about branding before I began blogging, I would have had the same URL and username), it is wise to choose something that has nothing to with what you intend to write about.

This is because it's intention. 

But what you want to say changes over time, experience, and most certainly, with the books you read. Loving the Language of Literacy obviously has a lot to do with literature, but the name never explicitly stated that I was a BOOK blogger or (and I'm thanking the blogging gods) that I was a YOUNG ADULT book blogger. This has nothing to do with the stigma surrounding the genre or the concept of "growing out of YA." It just has to do with the fact that one, I don't always read YA anymore and two, I don't want my sole focus to be on books.

I understand the effort and time that will go into re-branding per-say, but I couldn't be happier. Sidenote : I'm not going to start blogging about cooking or my athletic endeavors mostly because I can sum both of those things up in a sentence. My sister and I made a meal for our family in the month of May and I haven't worked out officially since I ran the Mountain Goat back in the beginning of May.

What I will be discussing are my passions.

Most of which you have heard little tidbits about since 2016 began and uncoincidentally, these  passions are either language or artistically based. They might even end up better representing the words Loving the Language of Literacy than book reviewing ever did. This isn't to say I will never review a book again because it's a sure fact that some book will come along soon and steal my heart in a way all of the books I've read before it haven't in a long time. This isn't to say I will never do a book haul again because to be perfectly honest, my Black Friday BookOutlet Haul was one of my favorite videos to film.

for Creative Writing and Language Learning  

Who is surprised? If you are, you must be new. 

On languages... Since the year began, I've learned that I'm just as fascinated with the scientific, mechanical aspects of language as I am with the artistic, imaginative ones. Language learning itself has become my new obsession not only because I love annoying my friends by saying things they don't understand but because I want to to communicate with as many people as possible. I remember  walking into English one day when I was in Oxford for a lesson focused on modal and auxiliary verbs. I swear to goodness, I had a better time in that lesson than my teacher did. Basically, if my peers didn't already think I was a nerd for loving to read and make up stories, they do now that I have discovered my love for analyzing sentences and language structure.

On creative writing... In terms of style, subject matter, and skill, I have grown exponentially. I don't even know where to begin besides the Champlain College Young Writer's Conference which I intend to make an entire video about because it was the best weekend of my life and I definitely think I could produce a killer sappy/cliche essay about everything the weekend taught me about courage and belonging. In gist, it is a magical place up at Burlington, Vermont where there are over 250 teenagers who all love to read and write as much as you do with a place for everyone from slam poets to song writers to novelists to playwrights to creative nonfiction-ers.

On schedule... To be perfectly honest here, this summer is insanity for me. Regents are next week, then I spend the rest of June in Finland and Sweden. I'm home for the first ten days of July and then I head off to three weeks at Bard College for their Young Writer's Workshop. The first week of August is spent in California visiting family. The following is going to be my miserable attempt at getting back into shape amongst the fastest, fittest teenagers in New York State at Aim High Running Camp. Then it's back home to Syracuse for Cross Country preseason. And then it's back to the grindstone for another school year.

Despite everything going on, the plan is to have one blog every Sunday following the themes of my language learning and writing progress as well as a video every Tuesday and Friday. Of course, if I'm particularly inspired, there will be more content coming your way, but this is the plan for now.

I admit this change is scary. 

Loving the Language of Literacy is changing and evolving and I'm basically rebranding everything I've worked towards in the past two and a half years. I always thought I would have my book blog and BookTube channel as a sort of crutch when it came time for college applications - as if I could point to it and say, "Even if I quit or gave up x, y, and z, I never gave up this." But here I am, diving headfirst into my new passions and I couldn't be happier.

If you're new, I hope you stick around, and if you've been following me for a while, I would love you to stick around as well during this time of evolution. My primary goal that ties my two loves together is for storytelling and I can't wait to share mine.

{ARC Review} To This Day: Shane Koyczan

Rating: 9/10
Series: None
Genre: Picture Book, Non-Fiction, Poetry,
Publisher: Annick Press
Publication Date: September 2, 2014
Recommended For Fans of: Thirteen Reasons Why (Jay Asher), Falling Into Place (Amy Zhang)
Page Count: 74
Format: eARC
Source: Netgalley

Goodreads Synopsis: An authentic rallying cry for anyone who has been affected by bullying.

In February 2013, Shane Koyczan's passionate anti-bullying poem "To This Day" electrified the world. An animated video of the lyric narrative went viral, racking up over 12 million hits to date and inspiring an international movement against bullying in schools. Shane later performed the piece to sustained applause on the stage of the 2013 annual TED Conference.

Now this extraordinary work has been adapted into an equally moving and visually arresting book. Thirty international artists, as diverse as they are talented, have been inspired to create exceptional art to accompany "To This Day." Each page is a vibrant collage of images, colors and words that will resonate powerfully with anyone who has experienced bullying themselves, whether as a victim, observer, or participant.

Born of Shane's own experiences of being bullied as a child, "To This Day" expresses the profound and lasting effect of bullying on an individual, while affirming the strength and inner resources that allow people to move beyond the experience. A heartfelt preface and afterword, along with resources for kids affected by bullying, make this book an invaluable centerpiece of the anti-bullying movement.

Disclaimer: I received this book as an ARC from Annick Press via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Backstory: The first time I heard of this poem was a few months ago when scrolling through one of my friend's Google+ feeds. I had no idea what the video was going to be about, and I was wondering why everyone in the comments was saying, "Wow! This is so deep." I ended up loving the poem and its message, but pretty much forgot about it until I saw it on Netgalley a few days ago. I also want to say that I have never reviewed a picture book before, and haven't read one in a long time, so we'll just see how this goes.

Physical Book Premise 10/10: If you didn't know, Shane Koyczan rallied 30 artist from around the world, and assigned a verse of the poem to each one to illustrate both sides of a page. I think this was an astounding idea, and it feels like To This Day couldn't have been translated into a book any other way. Each and every one of those 30 artist brings their own unique floor to the table, and creates vivid depictions of each verse, and I think it is so cool how each one interpreted their verse.

Title 10/10: As a reader, I will either love or hate a title. In my opinion, To This Day couldn't possibly have had a better title. The phrase means so much to the characters, the story, and the reader. It  stresses the theme of "Everything effects everything." To me, it means that what may have seemed like a minor thing said can effect a person to this day, even if it happened/was said decades ago.

Cover 6/10: How on earth can I talk about a picture book without talking about the cover? I don't know what I expected, but I know that this isn't the cover I was expecting. I'm not saying it isn't a good cover, the idea behind it (the bullies' shadows and the boy standing up for himself) is great. I expected something more.... something more powerful and striking to adorn my shelves with. Over 30 artists worked on this book, and there were a few that I think could have made something closer to what I expected. 

The Introduction 7/10: Shane introduces himself, and then explains how he started writing and what it did for him throughout his childhood. He shares a few statistics and facts about bulling, as well ad what inspired him to write To This Day. The page before his poem starts, Shane explains that everyone is an artist, all they have to do is find their medium to express themselves. This rang so true for me and I think it will resonate with others trying to discover who they are and find their voices.

Plot 8/10: The poem tells three people's stories about bullying, mostly focusing on the overweight narrator who is perpetually teased after causing a full-scale social worker investigation simply because he used two words interchangeably, and then telling us about a girl with a clearly visible birth mark on her face, and a suicidal boy who's dealing with idiots a society that just doesn't understand what he's going through. After introducing the three of them, the rest of the poem proceeds to describe the pain, rejection, and the feeling of being an anomaly that so many young kids have to go through. 

Quotes & Pictures 10/10: AKA the category where I attempt to describe pictures and fail.

"She looks like a wrong answer that someone tried to erase but couldn't quite get the job done." 

When teachers talk about figurative or descriptive language, THIS is what I would like them to show us. I know you guys have to wait until September to see it, but the particular picture on this page is so simple, but powerful. It looks slightly cartoonish, but at the same time, feels like a perfect representation.

"To this day he is a stick of TNT lit from both ends,

could describe to you in detail the way the sky bends in the moments before it's about to fall"

I don't necessarily like the picture on these two pages, but it is powerful and striking, the way it should be for the phrase that resonated the most with me after I read it. There are three funnel tornadoes, and a destructive, fire-breathing creature. It embodies the destructive nature of this verse, and seems almost like a scene you would find in an X-Men movie.

"He remains a conversation piece between people who can't understand

sometimes becoming drug free has less to do with addiction and more to do with sanity."

The verse isn't one of my favorites, because I feel that I have not experienced enough to understand it, but the translation is a wake-up call. There is a larger-than-life orange prescription bottle, filled to the brim with blue and white pills, and on the lid, there is a little boy who hardly looks old enough to take pills, yet alone experience the reasons why he has to take them. Surrounding this bottle, are three grey wolves, trying to make him come down, and more rushing towards him from the next page. The best comparison I can make is Katniss and Peeta on the top of the cornucopia, trying to fend off the mutts.

"This is just debris leftover when we finally decide to smash all the things we used to be

and if you can't see anything beautiful about yourself

get a better mirror"

One of my favorite (I can say this practically about the entire book) pictures in this book is of people in little boats, surrounded by debris, on course to an island with a sleeping giant whose face is full of sorrow. In the left hand corner, there is a figure of a person, similar to a shadow, looking at herself in a mirror as the poem depicts. The entire image is full of rich, vibrant colors, and shading.

"We are graduating members from the class of

WE MADE IT

Not the faded echoes of voices crying out names will never hurt me

of course they did"

My (actual) favorite picture isn't until almost the very end with this verse. A lot of dark colors that give an almost watercolor effect show a scene of a little town framed against mountains. What I love is that this place could be almost any other little town, just like bulling can happen any and everywhere.

The Ending 6/10: This just gives a little more background information on the poem itself (a more professional version of my back stories), and how it has impacted people, with snipets from some of the illustrators about their experiences with bullying. 

Conclusion: The decision to translate this poem to a picture book was risky, but those risks were well-worth it when you see the startling, beautiful, powerful, and painful images adorning these pages. Although I would have liked it if more of Shane's story was told, as well as how to deal with bullying, this picture book is a new favorite of mine and I cannot wait for it to grace my bookshelves. 

Dear Nobody: The True Diary of Mary Rose: (edited) Gillian McCain & Legs McNeil

Genre: Contemporary Young Adult Non-Fiction
Publication Date: April 1, 2014

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Page Count: 336

Goodreads Synopsis: Go Ask Alice was a hoax. But Dear Nobody is a true teen diary so raw and so edgy its authenticity rings off every page

"I am a freak."The words and drawings of Mary Rose present a gritty, powerful, no-holds-barred true experience of a teen girl so desperate to be loved, so eager to fit in that she'll go to extremes that could cost her her life.This is not a story about addiction. Or sexual promiscuity. Or cystic fibrosis. It's the story of a young woman with a powerful will to live, who more than anything wants to be heard...and loved.This compelling, emotional account ensures her voice will not be forgotten

Last week, I posted my review of Dear Nobody, and got some wonderful responses. If you have read the review, you will know that one of Mary Rose's many struggles was her battle with Cystic Fibrosis, and since May is Cystic Fibrosis Awareness Month, the people running the Dear Nobody Street Team thought it would be nice if us street teamers shared some information about Mary Rose's disease. Make sure to scroll all the way down to see a Youtube playlist of songs I listen to in order to cope with the inevitable drama that comes with being a teenager.

The following statistics and information have been taken from the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation website.  

Cystic Fibrosis is an inherited chronic disease that affects the lungs and digestive system of about 30,000 children and adults in the United States (70,000 worldwide). A defective gene and its protein product cause the body to produce unusually thick, sticky mucus that:

• clogs the lungs and leads to life-threatening lung infections; and
• obstructs the pancreas and stops natural enzymes from helping the body break down and absorb food.

In the 1950s, few children with cystic fibrosis lived to attend elementary school. Today, advances in research and medical treatments have further enhanced and extended life for children and adults with CF. Many people with the disease can now expect to live into their 30s, 40s and beyond.

Symptoms of Cystic Fibrosis:

People with CF can have a variety of symptoms, including:

• very salty-tasting skin;
• persistent coughing, at times with phlegm;
• frequent lung infections;
• wheezing or shortness of breath;
• poor growth/weight gain in spite of a good appetite;
• frequent greasy, bulky stools or difficulty in bowel movements.

Statistics:

• About 1,000 new cases of cystic fibrosis are diagnosed each year.
• More than 70% of patients are diagnosed by age two.
• More than 45% of the CF patient population is age 18 or older.
• The predicted median age of survival for a person with CF is in the early 40s.

Tips for Optimal Health:

• Avoid the spread of germs
• Watch your diet – high calorie and high fat diet for those with CF is essential
• Take pancreatic enzyme supplements in addition to vitamin supplements
• Keep sugar in check
• Take care of your lung health by performing lung exercises

Resources for Patients with Cystic Fibrosis

• CF Patient Assistance Foundation (CFPAF) - The CFPAF helps people with CF afford the medications and devices they need to manage their disease.
• Social Security Project (SSP) - A CFPAF-sponsored program that helps people with cystic fibrosis apply for Supplemental Security Income (SSI) and Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) benefits.
• CFF Case Management & Technical Assistance - A team of case managers that support CF care centers and people with CF to understand and navigate insurance, reimbursement and coverage issues. 
• Patient Assistance Resource Library - An online database that provides documents, template letters and other tools for people with CF, caregivers and insurers.
• CF Legal Information Hotline - A resource sponsored by the CF Foundation that provides free information about the laws that protect the rights of individuals with CF.
• CFF Mutation Analysis Program (MAP) - A free and confidential genetic testing program for people with a confirmed diagnosis of cystic fibrosis to help make informed decisions about treatment options.
• Spanish-Language Materials - Information about the Patient Assistance Resource Center, and the services provided, have been translated into Spanish and are available as handouts.

The above information has been taken from the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation website.  For more information, visit them at http://www.cff.org/.

Playlist

All I did to create this playlist was scroll down my various spotify ones, and pick out the ones that I played specifically when I am sad, or need cheering up. If I could, I would probably list around 100 songs from the past month alone, but I know you don't want to be here all day. Anyway, I consider my taste in music pretty diverse, from country to pop to alternative and everything in between. 

I'm crossing my fingers that this link leads you to where you need to go for my Youtube playlist, if not, I have each song and artist linked with a youtube video below.

This Town - Clare Bowen & Charles Esten

How You Learn to Live Along - Jonathan Jackson

Black Roses - Clare Bowen

The End of the Day - Connie Britton & Charles Esten

When the Right One Comes Along - Clare Bowen & Sam Palladio

Change Your Mind - Clare Bowen & Sam Palladio

Invisible - Hunter Hayes

{Cover} Let Her Go - Passenger: Alexi Blue

I Bet You Don't Curse God - Christina Grimmie

Set Fire to the Third Bar: Snow Patrol

Think of You - Christina Grimmie

Hall of Fame - The Script Ft. Will.i.am

The Lumineers - Dead Sea

The Lumineers - Slow it Down

Perfect - Pink

Christina Aguilera - Beautiful

Dear Nobody: The True Diary of Mary Rose: Gillian McCain Legs McNeil

Rating: 5/10
Series: Standalone

Genre: Contemporary Young Adult Non-Fiction
Publication Date: April 1, 2014

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire
Page Count: 336
Format: eARC

Source: Netgalley

Check out the Dear Nobody website for the trailer and actual scans of Mary Rose's diary.

Goodreads Synopsis: Go Ask Alice was a hoax. But Dear Nobody is a true teen diary so raw and so edgy its authenticity rings off every page

"I am a freak."The words and drawings of Mary Rose present a gritty, powerful, no-holds-barred true experience of a teen girl so desperate to be loved, so eager to fit in that she'll go to extremes that could cost her her life.This is not a story about addiction. Or sexual promiscuity. Or cystic fibrosis. It's the story of a young woman with a powerful will to live, who more than anything wants to be heard...and loved.This compelling, emotional account ensures her voice will not be forgotten

*I received this book from Netgalley for review purposes which does not in the slightest affect my honest review of the book*
*I am sincerely sorry to my street team for not posting this review earlier, I had personal/school matters that needed to be prioritized first, which is why I was unable previously to post this review*

My Initial Thoughts: One word -WOW. This book could go down in history. This book could make it onto the 'banned books' list. This book could do a lot of things, and impact modern society, in terms of subject matter and writing style. My first point is that this book is not for the faint of heart, and not for people that can't bare to hear about the 'tough stuff' which covers a wide array of topics from rape, underage drinking, abuse, drugs, depression, illness, and more. The whole nine yards are in this novel, all Mary Rose needed to do was add gun control, abortion, religion, and LGBTQ+ to make her story contain every single controversial topic nowadays. 

I can just picture my language arts teacher (any many others across the country) beating the story to death with interpretations, discussions, essays, and everything else this story evokes/has the potential to evoke. Personally, I think that it shouldn't. Dear Nobody is so rich, and sometimes overbearing to the senses. Readers should really sit down for four hours and finish the book cover to cover in order to let all of the emotions soak in and impact them. 

One of my issues is that I started this book with the expectation that it would be THE next contemporary young adult novel. What does that mean to me? Well, it means there are meaningful quotes I could write whole discussions on, and there would be passages/phrases that unearthed the whole character to myself, so that I sympathized with them, and truly got to know them. I know I am saying what a majority of the readers have said -This book is gritty. A classic contemporary novel in Sofiaworld has a cookie-cutter beginning, middle, and end, and -while subjects may be depicted in a gory and/or graphic manner- pretty. 

Most diaries are written in diary-form, but they still have the classic exposition, rising, action, climax, falling action, resolution, etc. The format might be different and at times, unconventional, but it would still tell a coherent story. Instead, Dear Nobody: The True Diary of Mary Rose is just that, the true diary of hers. The handy little disclaimer in the beginning of the book states that not a single word was changed, everything is directly from her. There is no introductory, "My name is Mary Rose. I am 16 years old. I live in...." kind of passage. While it was arranged so that readers would get a general idea of who she is in the beginning, this book is still not of the normal variety by any means. 

Everything is EXACTLY as she wrote it. Every last cuss word, gruesome description, and more was directly from her mouth. The reason this praise is considered "raw and gritty" is because there are some pretty 'hush, hush' topics discussed that don't normally debut in a young adult novel. I'm not just saying that there is a topic like sex that is graphically described. I am saying that this girl, Mary Rose's inner soul was unsheathed in this book. 

And that is what might trip readers up.

I personally did not like this book as much as I thought I would. The structure and order of events tripped me up. I'm all for authors trying to be unique, but that's just it, authors make up these events and stories. Even if they are 'based on a true story' the author still has the freedom to guess what it's like inside their main characters head. All Gillian McCain and Legs McNeil could do was rearrange the order of entries, and choose to exclude certain ones. I know people are sure to disagree with me, but I think a minute amount of editing might have made this story more enjoyable. There were a few jumps from chapter to chapter that felt like someone had just gotten up and walked away that made it very  perplexing at times. Even if there was a single entry written by McCain or McNeil, it might have impacted the story. Mary Rose did not write this for other people's eyes. She did not write this to make sense. She did not write this to make herself likable or relatable. She wrote this to tell the truth.

I would also like to add that a reader, such as myself a few years ago at a younger, more innocent stage, would be horrified and shocked at Dear Nobody. Booze is being drank, and drugs are being done practically more than dialogue is being said. Mary Rose is drinking and getting high so much, that if this wasn't a true story, and I felt sympathy for her, I would say the author was terrible for putting in so much substance abuse. I know I sound malicious for saying this, but I am extremely surprised she hadn't killed herself before with the amount of alcohol and drugs -that I hadn't even previously heard of- that she had consumed. 

Then there's the cystic fibrosis act to the story that makes your sympathy for her dip down even lower. Being sick and in the hospital has become such a normal experience for her, and she even says how people got tired of hearing she was there, and it had become a daily part of their lives similar to going to dance class or playing in the park. 

Next, there was the romantic aspect to think of. I can hardly remember how many guys she thought she was "in love" with, who she thought was "cute", and wanted to make out with or date. 

Then, there was the fact she was raped multiple times, which is horrible in and of itself, but she got so high, and passed out so much, that it made it (I hate to say this) easy for people to do it. 

Lastly (and I know there is probably more I am forgetting), there was the fact that her mother was staying in an abusive relationship. Both Mary Rose and her mom got beat on a daily basis by her mom's (lets be honest here) good for nothing boyfriend that she even intended to marry. 

There is just issue after issue here that all made up Mary Rose's life that had truly become hell. On the outside, people will probably look at her, feel sorry, then try to pin the blame on someone.  Instead, we get to see how none of if=t was her fault, and merely a defense mechanism, although not the best one.

Because of all of this, I did not like Dear Nobody that much if you are judging a book by it's plot and characters. If you are judging by subject matter and premise only, it would get the full 5 stars. I know that the two star rating might be off-putting and negative, but my readers of this blog have to understand, Dear Nobody was not as easy book. "true teen diary so raw and so edgy its authenticity rings off every page" is what the synopsis says. I personally, had problems with the book in terms of structure and voice, but I hope that does not deter you from buying it. I was touched deeply, but it was still not completely to my liking. I know it seems hypocritical, and conflicting but as the same time I think it was extraordinary, wonderful, and stunning, it was also confusing, hard to follow at times, and not enough background was given. 

Conclusion: This is one messed up book that should not be read by people with a tender stomach because of the horrible events Mary Rose has to go through. My own feelings are conflicted to say the least, but this book has the ability to be stunning, breathtaking, yet horrible, and confusing simultaneously.