Thursday, October 30, 2014

An Existential Crisis.... Of the Blogging Variety

The Running Wall: If you're a runner, or an introvert that has only read about running and has no idea what the action actually feels like (both are absolutely fine), you may have heard of this wall that you tend to run up against during a long distance run.

My Feelings: At this moment in time, on October 26, 2014, that's how I feel. This has nothing to do with recent events in the blogosphere (because if it did.... I would have some serious things to say), just with where I am at this point in my life and time.

I feel stumped. I feel inspiration-less. I feel kind of down.

Teach Me Your Ways!: I look at all of these other people's awesome blogs with tons of followers and views (which is not what blogging is about, statistics aren't incorporated into this), great ideas, insightful posts, awesome social media presences and then I look at my own blog. This isn't necessarily jealousy, more admiration and the feeling of "teach me your ways." I would LOVE to be able to have a full-time job, children, a spouse, and time/inspiration to post amazing content every day.

How the Heck Do You Have The Time? There's also the matter of time, how the heck do these people have the time to do all of the awesomesauce stuff that they do such as blog tours with popular authors, giveaways, go to IRL author events, vlog at the same time, and all of this amazingness I long to achieve? I am still in school and undergoing the pressures of HOURS of homework every night (no exageration) and other events in my personal life.

Statistics: Since June, my blog post count per month has had a gradual decline. From May with 27, to June with 22, to July with 18 posts to August when I had 10. Let's face it, those statistics are sad. I know everyone says posting every day isn't a necessity, and I agree with that wholeheartedly. Yet, I'm not blogging by ANY means for all of the impressive statistics, or monetization. I do it as a labor of love because I love books.

I am the one feeling down.

I am the one putting pressure on myself.

I am the one wondering what any of it means if I can't do the things I love.

I am the one setting all of these outrageous deadlines for myself when I know full well that life will get in the way.

There's the Want: And you want to know the part of everything that makes me feel discouraged? I WANT to post. I want with all of my heart to film videos, write reviews, compose discussions, do tags. I want to put out as much content as possible, because I'm the kind of person who will put in the same amount of effort if I'm writing a blog post for one person to see versus 1000.

Positivity Will Prevail!: What I have told myself to do in both my blogging, reading. writing, vlogging, personal, and life in general is to get a positive outlook. If I do better by even ONE post more than the month before, I should be happy. If I write 100 more words than my goal, that's a cause to celebrate. If I get three more views than I did my last video, I will consider it a victory. And if I don't post for a week (*cough cough* last week). I won't dwell on the past and vow to get back in the swing of things the next week. Having a pity party with one person isn't very fun.

Pushing Past the Wall: So.... This existential blogging crisis might continue on for longer than I hope, but I will consider it the running wall and push through it. Because you know what happens after you FINALLY break down the bricks of that wall? An inexplicable rush of adrenaline and victory when you finally cross the finish line. I'm just going to push through it all and hope I come out the other side of this blogging slump stronger, and raring to go with shiny ideas and new content.

What about you?
Have you ever hit the blogging wall?
How did you get past it?
How did you cope?
How do you get ideas and inspiration for new posts?
How do you make time in your day for ALL of the things?

Thank you so much for listening to my mini-rant and I hope to see you soon in my next post!

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